I'm so tired...

As some of you know, my life hasn't been good for a while...and I'm tired...very tired...

Earlier this year I lost all of my real life friends...there weren't many to start with, just two...one who'd been very sick died, and the other just stopped talking to me...I'm not entirely sure why, I just know that it hurt a lot, still does...She abandoned me when I needed someone to love and care for me...Going into hospital is never easy, and she wouldn't even take time out to visit me for the 6 days I was there...I had to do it alone, something she wouldn't be able to do...I'm so disappointed in her, especially how she talked about the people who visited her when she was last in hospital - AT LEAST THEY VISITED YOU, and as for their inappropriate gifts...AT LEAST THEY DID VISIT YOU!!  I'm more upset about the one who's still alive, the other one was as expected, a relief for her when she went...

My housing situation went from bad to worse, and I'm currently living in crisis housing (try recovering from major surgery in crisis housing), and if you've ever seen The Bill, just picture "the Estates" and you'll know the sort of place I am.  There's only been one lot of gunshots reported on the news.  The man who grabbed his girlfriends baby and hurt it during an argument didn't, nor do the many other crimes...if you want drugs, come here, there's a guy in the carpark most days...he'll offer them quite freely!  I'm much too fragile to be living here - the noise alone is enough to trigger a daily or bi-daily meltdown...I'm living in fear...every day...

I can't relax, I'm on mega anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, and they're not really helping, I'm having at least one meltdown (full on Autistic meltdown, with head banging) every day...

My amazing Asperger memory is gone, and I need to write everything down - I often walk into another room to get something, and I've forgotten what it was I needed...several times a day I have forgotten before I've gotten out of my chair...I hate this loss of memory stuff, I used to rely on it for so much, and now it's gone...

The symptoms of my brain aliens is getting worse, the double vision in my one eye is more pronounced and starting to be distinct, rather than just fuzzy...the migraines in the morning are now accompanied with nausea and the occasional vomiting...regardless of what I eat, I feel nauseous after every meal, even water...

I am seeing new Neurosergeons (a he and a she at the RPA) and they are hopeful that they can reduce much of my symptoms, and possibly even remove the alien!

The bitches who work for the crisis housing don't understand about brain aliens - they tell me that one day I'll go back to work, and drive a car...NO I WONT...the department of motor veh, will not let me...These women also have no clue about Aspergers...oh sure they say they do...but in any meltdown, they want to touch you, talk to you, get you up off the floor, make you stop crying, TELL YOU TO TRY HARDER!!  As if anyone wanted to feel that shit that they would sit on the floor rocking and crying with their hands over their ears...And as for working - I struggle to knit more than 5 rows of anything a day...

I am having a hard time seeing a way for things to get better, the Neurosurgeons say that the best thing is for me to relax, recover from the first surgery, but it's so hard when I have nowhere I can go to get some peace and quiet, and my home doesn't feel safe...

And today, my fish died.

The Real Gekko...

The Ravelry badge says it all folks...

Recycling old jumpers...

What do you do when your handspun, hand knitted jumper/cardigan is getting old - it's felting under the arms, and you have to shave the pills off everytime you wear it?

I'd love to hear from you!!

I thought about unravelling it and reknitting it into something else, but the felty bits might make it a bit hard and make me swear a lot!

While in Bendigo recently I found this jumper in a second hand shop...

It looks handspun...it was certainly handknitted - unfortunately it was made by someone insane!  You know how you put a knot in the end of your thread before you sew a hem?  yes?  It's not what you should be using for sewing a knitting project!  some of the tails woven in were 3 - 4 feet long!!  and others were less than 1 cm, and it's a miracle it didn't come undone sooner!  It's the most weirdly constructed garment I've ever seen!

But it only took 6 hours to unwind it...and now I have shitloads of chunky yarn!

Which meant I had to start something new, right!  A hat with the above yarn!  I'll put finished pictures in later, I should be done by bedtime, considering I'm using the biggest needles I own!

Apparently I only have nine projects on the go at the moment!  I must be slipping...normally I have a thousand!

Has anyone seen this Johnson Bros dinner set?

I'd like to get a few new pieces, but I don't know what the pattern is called - it says "victorian" on the back as per the pic above, but when you google that you get a different picture on the front!

Anyway, more knitting to do!

A holiday of sorts...

After a very long train ride, where I did next to no crafting (and getting my ears talked off by an OAP), I arrived in a very sunny Melbourne...

And, after spending an entire day at the Stitches and craft show, I have a shitload of babushka fat quarters!!  And a babushka shopping bag, that folds into itself!  There was sooo many people there!!  And what surprised me was the amount of husbands and the lack of children!  Clearly the babysitters fraternity was having a busy day!  I did overhear several comments about how nice it was to have "mummy time"...

As the Ravellers amongst you would know, I've been searching for a hole punch to cut 1/2 inch hexagons out of paper for a while now...I still am, although the Go! cutter was amazing, they don't go small enough!  If they did, I'd fork out the several hundred $$ to get one IMMEDIATELY!!  If you know of a cutter that will cut 1/2 inch hexagons (measured on the side, not across the middle) let me know!!  I will not purchase papers from a shop, because I need around twenty thousand to do the quilt!!  And even though I do know how to cut hexagons with my rotary cutter, it's harder with paper, because if you try and cut more than one sheet at a time, they shift, and your hexagon becomes wonky!  And there's nothing worse than wonky hexagons!

So, where am I right now?  Bendigo!  it's extremely sunny!  Things are going mostly well here, except for a break in to Joey's flat earlier this week, which she's coping with really well (could be her new medication! - we're now on the same stuff!) well, except for a small bout of insomnia...

A while ago the International sock swappers held a swap, and I decided not to participate as a swapper (I still helped moderate), and then half way through I commented that I wish I'd joined (there was some really super sexy socks being knitted!!) and Rrroxanne suggested we do a side swap...and I have to say I love these socks - thanks again Moira!!  Here's a picture of it sitting on Joeys sofa!

Some people!

I don't understand people...really I don't...I am constantly shaking my head and wondering what they're on about...they confuse me sooooo much!!

Especially the people who you go to craft groups with...the ones who see you knitting socks and say "I'll pay you to knit my daughter socks!!"  and then go on about how they just don't have time to do any craft because they spend all their time doing things for other people...needless to say I was offered $19.00 (this is the price an older lady sells plain 8ply socks for at a local market) to knit a pair of socks...I was too shocked to tell her that most of the sock yarns I have cost me $21.00 and then I'd be knitting for free!  All I could think to say was that I'll think about it!

I only ever knit for other people if I instigate it...like swaps, or favours (no, Jejune1, I haven't forgotten about you - I'm doing some extra things - I figured I might as well fill the box!!) or injured folks who can't do it themselves...

How do you let these people down without them feeling (I'm not sure what emotion was on her face exactly)...I'm sure if I asked her to do the equivalent hours and only offer to pay for most of the materials, on a quilt she'd make a big deal of it...

It's times like this I really don't like having Aspergers...That horrible feeling I get in the pit of my tummy when I see emotions on people's faces, and I don't know what it means - I can see that there's something going on, but I can't even imagine what it is!  I'm great with the extremes of people's emotions - the happy, the sad, the "I'm so effing angry I'm gonna kill you"...but with the subtle bits in the middle, I'm stumped!

Anyway, I'm going to say no to the socks, but I'm going to wait until I've had a good nights sleep and don't have PMS...

I'm not sure about this font!

Any thoughts?  It's really frilly and girly (I'm partial to frilly, and cakes!!)...

Blog Revamp!

I spent close to 4 hours looking at blog templates!  Geez there is a lot out there!  This is the one I decided on in the end, after trying about a thousand!!

The coffee bag, bags are now on etsy - just tell me what colour you'd like them to be sewn in!!

*still haven't worked out how to put the link in the sidebar...hello google!  Worked it out!!  It is true - you can find anything on the internet!!  ;-)

Ebay Sellers

Anne Fursman of http://stores.ebay.com.au/charming888 you are the pineapple of the week!

It may be me or it may be my Asperger self talking, but if a customer leaves you neutral feedback, and comments on the postage - DON'T ATTACK THEM VIA EMAIL!!  Perhaps as THE sender you need to go and talk to Australia Post...Nobody needs to be called a bitch and a loser, especially someone who's spent nearly $400 in your store!!

Go and read your feedback honey, all those customers telling you that you're rude!  Maybe you should listen, they have some good suggestions for you!! And go learn how to use your spell checker!

What can a girl do with a crochet hook?

Heaps of things can be done with a crochet hook, especially the older steel type!  For example: an electro magnet to degausse your tv!

The tv before:

The tv after:

 Just remember that the battery will bite you if you hold both ends of it when you attach the copper wire!  Hold onto the insulated copper wire!  Trust me on this!!  And no, the hook wasn't damaged - it lived to crochet another day!

ps more stuff on Etsy today!

New Etsy Shop!

Thanks to Kathy B for suggesting it - go here (AnushkaANDtheLIZZARD) to purchase upcycled items of magnificence!  Well, the only thing there is the cat food pouch, but there will be more!!  Soon, I promise!

;-)

hey, does anyone know how I can link to the shop in the side bar?  I'm trying hard to learn, honest!

International Sock Swap #4 on Ravelry!

Ok, so I was knitting away on my socks for this swap when I decided I needed new stitch markers to mark my gusset stitches...I'm like that!  So I've made a few of my favourite four letter words into stitch markers...and the sock, which just happened to get in front of the camera!

ps KathyB, I would love to sell you a kitty food pouch!

email me at 1gekko1@gmail.com or pm Gekko in Ravelry and we'll talk!

I couldn't work out how to email you!!

Bags, Bags, Bags!!

I had a busy day today...I got a bit organised and put together some coffee bags: I need to get some straps for these two...

 I was going to use the zippers, but in the end I didn't...

 Three tote bags!!

And a cat food pouch - padded to protect the iPhone!

 The front of a project bag...it was a little girls dress...

 and the back of the project bag...

 The top of the project bag!

 Another little girls dress...with the neck, arms and bottom sewn up...the front:

 The back:

 Inside the zipper down the back of the dress:

 An old pair of shorts - bum side up:

 The front of the shorts:

I still have to put the zipper in the green shorts, which I'll do tomorrow!

And then there's quilting...

I had a moment a week ago where I decided I hated half of the hexagons I'd done for this quilt top...I was going to do a random arrangement of single hexes, then it morphed into random arrangement of flowers (white center and 1 row of hexes) and then after I got over my hatred for a bazillion hours of sewing, I had an epiphany!  I could put them together in a sort of snowflake shape and fill it in with black hexes until it's a square shape!  So far it looks fantastic (as you can see above) and all I need to do now is the black hexes because I've done all the coloured bits!

I haven't knitted in a while :-(

More photo's of the Fishling...

I woke up the other morning, and at first I couldn't find Fish! The tank has a lid, and I pondered who would break into my flat and steal my fish and not my iPhone while I was asleep!!

Then I looked in at the marbles in the small mixing bowl...which are the same colour as Fish!

He's a funny little fellow!  

Just what I wanted!!

Thank you Denise!  It is exactly what I wanted!!  A new brain (inflatable of course!!) in a tin!!

Now I have no excuses, world domination starts today!!  Mwahahaha!

Fish the fish!